Endangered Men?

I got one of those forwards recently that I did not delete on sight because it had a title that sounded a tad oxymoronic to me:

“Men-the Real Truth” (need I say more?)

The bottom line of the piece was how men sacrifice tirelessly to care for their women(read mothers, sisters/cousins, girlfriends/wives) and provide the best for them at all costs.

Some extracts from the message are:

“He starts compromising at a very tender age. He sacrifices his chocolates for his sister.”

“…thus he sacrifices full youth for his wife and children without any complain.”

“…yet every mother, wife and boss tries to have control over him.”

“Finally his life ends up by compromising for others’ happiness.”

“Respect every boy/man in your life. You will never know what he has sacrificed for you.”

It got me thinking and I must admit there are some guys out there who fit the bill. Unfortunately over time this scenario has changed and I am tempted to replace all the “he’s” with “she’s” because in today’s society, women do way more sacrificing than the men in their lives.

Granted there’s some truth; and as Mr. Ezekiel suggested and I quote:

“You see the truth is that in this era of empowerment n all…men’s roles are really looked down upon. Men themselves are really taken for granted. I cud sing a song but am a man and we are expected to be tough”

I sent it to a few guy pals to feel them out on it and I was surprised.

Rebmann said “…we always see it as a duty rather than a burden.”

Sam on the other hand believes men are macho and shouldn’t wear their hearts on their sleeves. He is also of the opinion that it is not necessary for the women in their lives to pour out their appreciation in buckets, an occasional “thank you” would suffice. I like something Rebmann added “…men appear unappreciated cause most of their efforts are normally viewed as what they ought to do…” This I concur with to an extent and must admit am partially of the school of thought asking why should it be a celebration when men take up their responsibility when it’s basically God-given for them to do?

I’m on the fence because I think my problem lies in:

  • The generalization. Some men do not know what sacrifice is, the women in their lives sacrifice so they can be what others see. The mama covers for him by paying bills, supporting his whimsical ideas and raising his “totos” and when he finally comes round well, if ever, she’s just plain tired of the whole charade.
  • The misconception. You see God instituted that man shall toil for self and family so just where do we get the idea that it’s going to be easy? The woman shall be the help and man also got the good bit, that he would lead the mama.

Alright with the advent of empowerment, women’s rights have been highlighted but just what is the plight of men? Men don’t speak out about issues so we (maybe wrongfully) assume they have none? Women are the fairer gender and where men have the chest hairs to put forward(pun intended) women may need that extra hand. No I don’t mean affirmative action, I mean bringing to light issues such as domestic violence(against women), rape and FGM for example.

What say you?

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6 thoughts on “Endangered Men?

  1. life is really twisted these days and granted there are responsibilities given to man but all every man really needs, those taking up the manly task, all we need is some recognition and we only need it from the woman we love. we don’t need a trophy or award, we dont even need mama mboga down the street to have something to talk about. Its hard to do they things we are supposed to do, and its almost impossible when those we do it for don’t notice. Men are human beings too.

  2. I agree totally, Men are an engendered species. Especially the type of men that does what they are meant to do out of a sense of responsibility and goodwill. And whether accolades come their way by way of a silent thank you or a trumpeted song of gratitude or none at all is forthcoming. And if despite the presence or absence of acknowledgment they would still do it all over again, then that right there is an endangered species.
    I guess that’s the kind of men we ought to be encouraged to be .

    • Glad to hear you think men should be encouraged to do what they are “meant to do”Paul, would that many more would see things as you do 😉

  3. The flaw of this conversation is in the anchoring of the issues on men doing ‘their god-given what-they-are-supposed-to-do!’ There is no such thing surely. I think it should be something like, ‘…men and women doing what ought to be done!’ Period. None of them is endangered. On your penultimate paragraph, I ask: what do we do to decondition women who believe FGC, domestic violence and other forms of gender violence are things that are ‘just supposed to be so?’

    • Madd, well those things that ought to be done, aren’t they in essence what each is ‘supposed to do’? Granted there aren’t rule books with the How-to’s for either men or women but over time society has shown us that there are expected responsibilities from both sides of the divide. I’m interested to know why you disagree? The premise for the thought in this case was the position of men so I tried as much as possible to avoid detailing what I think women should do or not do 🙂
      As to the de-conditioning of certain notions held by women, that is a tough one, because there are myriad reasons why they may believe as they do and it would take sessions, perhaps, with them to determine how best to proceed. For instance, for some it is steeped in mindsets born of deeply ingrained cultural belief. For others it could be their thought system is as a result of traumatic circumstances that would need a lot of work to correct yet for others it could be that they simply don’t know any other way. What is your experience with women that think so?
      And how honoured am I that you grace my page with your literary discourse?? 😉

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