The High is Down

The high is down

 

It felt like I was about to fly

Like I was about to hit the sky and land on the moon

It felt like I was going to scale the peak

Like I was going to actually get there.

 

I felt like my inner eyes opened

Like I could truly breathe what I had so missed

I felt like the wait was over

Like I was where I should be.

 

My mind felt like it was free

Like vision was clearer and goals closer to reach

My soul felt like cotton candy

Like petals in a gentle breeze.

 

Heart felt like lotus leaves

Like melting chocolate on a warm and moist tongue

Heart felt like bursting seams

Like full; yet still empty.

 

Then it felt like nothing

Like it had all been a wistful and silly dream

Then it felt like sadness

Like a hollow tree trunk.

 

It felt like I was about to fly

Like I was about to hit the sky and land on the moon

It felt like I was going to scale the peak

Like I was going to truly get there.

 

Then it felt like it wasn’t supposed to feel;

The high is down!

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Was/Is

My soul bleeds, you can’t see it, neither can I. I feel it. Slow. Excruciating. Draining.

My heart cries, won’t you hear it? I do. Ragged. Mournful. Saddened.

My mind molds my feelings into words that my mouth won’t speak; can’t speak. Listen. Hear me?

My gaze is heavy…I yearn to raise it so that you can read what you won’t hear; can’t hear. Look. See me!

Your eyes are deaf. Your heart is blind. Your soul is dead. Towards me. I sit, you stand. I am, you’re not…

Nocturnality

Clearly..:)
Silence..save for the watchman’s scratchy ‘world receiver’ n my now loud thoughts.
Darkness..within and without the windows, but not in my head, never in my head.
Stillness..as the world on my end sleeps under the inky midnight blue black blanket.
Reflection..the day replays as if somehow transferred onto pre-digital era film reel, lazily across memory.
Anticipation..tomorrow,no! Today, i mean, later today-holds?
Prayer..thankful, hopeful, supplication, content, assured.
Sleep..ever distant yet mildly tangible as my upper lashes begin to dance with the lower, beckoning, intermittent, sometimes successful, other times.. Goodmorning sunshine!

Change…hmm…

Long ago once a fledgling thought scurrying through my mind,
Recently, a dream, minimally memorable;
Yesterday, an ambition, alive, eager;
Today, a reality, tangible, current;
Tomorrow, a hope? Or blind faith?
Next week, expectancy..maybe, definitely!
Next month, strategy restructuring, contingencies;
Next year, if all goes well…time will tell…

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow,
These three words stay with us all,
A singular commonality; the fact that they are all days
The difference being that no two are exactly alike.
I tend to entertain the notion that dwelling on either for longer than is necessary only leads to regression in:
Mind, body and soul.
It has been said that man is naturally resistant to change.
I agree.
But I know, also, that overcoming this resistance forges character;
And this, we must strive towards.

Of course, and sadly, not all such bred character will be of the good sort,
But one must try, or at the very least, fail while trying!
This in itself speaks volumes of the desire to embrace change,
and all it may encompass.
Past, Present and Future,
All must be.
And so help us, God,
So must we.

Faces

Stern, no nonsense
Cold, expressionless,
Tough, hardened
Worn, weather-beaten
Sad, sorrowful
Worried, afraid
I keep searching
for that different,
hope-giving,
contented look..

Smug, cat that ate the canary,
Haughty, do you know me?
Lewd, second glance the charm
Angry, what next?
Wistful, what if?
Aha! A smile…makes so much of a difference!

P.S: Smile or relax your face muscles today. All this was observed from a window overlooking pedestrians, there’s too much care in the world, just take it to the Lord in prayer AND LEAVE IT THERE!:-)

This Love…

So loving you is not in any way romantic

It’s a love that comes from a place of compassion;

A place where all I want for you is joy and peace,

Not a life of sorrow interspersed with some laughter and happiness;

But a life of joy and wholeness interspersed with a little pain and fear-

In adequate amounts to keep you human and hopeful,

Not to draw you down into an ever-spiraling damned despair.

I pray over you a life of prosperity and fullness,

Understanding, Wisdom, Joy and Peace, Laughter and Victory;

All making and molding you into the man you were intended to be.

I wish that you would see yourself as He sees you

And not let the situations in your life determine your destiny.

I want for you a life devoid of Spiritual bankruptcy,

but one with a rich soul.

This is how I love you, and always will.

Blue Sky, Green Grass…

Is the sky really blue?

I’m walking down the path, looking for answers;

The proverbial grass is green, the flowers are in bloom

The sky is blue, or is it?

So the world goes around, and people live and die-

eventually.

My head hurts from all these thoughts.

My gaze focuses on the ground,

And it is so hard to look up.

My steps are leading me away from the familiar.

This place is new;

I’ve never been here before

Fear? No. Apprehension? Perhaps.

Anxiety? No. Frustration? Yes.

Why don’t I know me anymore?

Why can’t I feel like I used to?

Where does sanity begin?

All I thought, all I knew, all I felt…

It’s all gone.

You know,

just like the grass is green, the flowers so pretty

and the sky so blue, but is it?

See at first glance colours, shapes and sizes are all we see,

But on closer inspection, like in the case of the sky,

What you see as blue is not in essence the colour of the sky,

but a reflection.

Who truly knows what the sky colour is?

Who, by looking at me,

can read all these thoughts running across my mind?

Who, by simply saying hello as they pass me by,

can tell that I am hungrily searching within?

My grass is green and my flowers are in bloom-

but that is the ordinary,

I need to look up, I need to broaden my thoughtspace,

I need to look higher and further,

challenge my expectations,

tease my creativity,

heighten my sense of being and perhaps help me see more

of the world rather than have a pity party with myself

as the star attraction.

My sky is not blue-right now,

It may be yellow, red or purple,

But as long as my eyes are looking up,

My world is definitely brighter.